Euro-Vision November

Posted on October 31, 2013


berlusconiLast month we watched as Italy teetered on the brink of another governmental meltdown as Berlusconi’s PDL threatened to show their support for the bunga-bungaing septuagenarian by storming out of the already fragile coalition. Unfortunately for Silvio, and fortunately for Italy, the PDL’s top brass caught themselves on and realised that jeopardising their own political careers with the added risk of sending the country’s economy back down the drain was not as bright an idea as it may have initially appeared.

Certainly the US agents tasked with snooping round the pizza-loving boot can’t have suffered much from boredom when tapping into conversations between the former Prime Minister and his youthful acquaintances. So far there have been no press releases regarding the comedy value of Angela Merkel’s bugged calls and texts, but the Kanzellerin is, shall we say, not best pleased at the news that her Yankee chums have been a-creepin’ on her chinwags of personal and political importance since 2002.

But at least Merkel, after protracted wrangling, has secured herself another coalition government following Germany’s recent elections and looks set to plough merrily on into another term. For her French counterpart, Président Hollande, the heat of political competition is beginning to rise: this week a (obviously entirely reliable and thoroughly representative) online poll for French BFM TV revealed that 46% of (a select number of) French people think far-right populist leader Marine Le Pen could prove old François’ nemesis come the next elections.

Blonde, charismatic, charming to some (though not to immigrants or homosexuals, to name but two notable exceptions), educated (a lawyer by trade), and certainly lacking nothing in conviction and self-belief, Marine Le Pen may have softened her party’s line a little bit after taking over from her dad in 2011 but there is little question as to in which direction she leans. (To the right, very much to the right.) And Le Pen is far from alone on the European political scene: she recently had talks with fellow blonde bombshell Geert Wilders, leader of the populist Dutch Freedom Party (PVV) and sporter of daring hot-pink ties (

While the more conservative elements have been cosying up to one another on the continent, UK Tories have actually resisted the urge to bring a referendum on EU membership forward to 2014; to burn all bridges with the EU may not, as it turns out, be the most forward-thinking course of action. That said, obviously for Old Blighty to retain its sovereignty etc. etc. CHANGES MUST BE MADE. As a result David Cameron and his gaggle of Business Taskforce lackeys have been concocting various plans to “cut EU red tape” and this month saw them march off resolutely to Brussels to get snipping.

And now it is time to march triumphantly off from this month’s rambling bulletin and wait in anticipation for November’s political circus; so long, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye.